Ebay Morons Galore!

August 22, 2007

Email Bin #1

Filed under: jerseys, stupid emails — J @ 12:29 am

Real emails, straight from my inbox. Morons are in red, I am in blue, and my commentary is in black.

This one is about a Mitchell & Ness Cecil Fielder jersey that retails for $300ish and typically sells on ebay for ~$150. Unfortunately, it had what looked like a light footprint or something on it, but it still was worth quite a bit since the jersey is so rare. It ended up going for a little under $100.

roclafamilia2123 is a potential buyer.
70.00 including shipping?

Haha, no. Even with the marks, it’ll still go for over $100. Make a real offer or just bid.

roclafamilia2123 is a potential buyer.
its got dirt all over the front. dont holla at me u need to holla at a mothafuckin drycleaner b4 puttin that jersey up expecting over 100 niggaget ur mind right and ur gwap up u disrespectin ebay niggaand please tell ebay that i swore at u..fuckin rat all snitches in ditches nigga 21 gun salute nigga

I nominate this guy for dork of the year. Who gives a shit where the item is coming from, unless it’s something timely like tickets, or something huge to pick up in person. The item here is a Dominican Republic baseball jersey and I clearly say no local pick-up.

godwulf is a potential buyer.
What is the reason for being vague about the Item Location? “Earth, United States”? I am seriously looking at your jerseys, but this puts me off, honestly. Jeff

Does it really matter where I’m from in the US? I travel a lot because of my job, so items get shipped from all different locations. (Absolutely not true, by the way) Look at my high feedback. Do you really think I’m a scam artist or something because I say “Earth” as my location? Give me a break. If something as trivial as this “puts you off,” I’d hate to see what happens when something legitimate gets in your way.


If a simple, reasonable and civilly worded request for information causes you to be snarky and insulting to a potential customer, it’s amazing to me that you’ve been in business for as long as you apparently have, or gotten the good feedback.

Anyway, congratulations on doing so well that you don’t need any money from me.


I’ve been selling stuff on ebay since fall of ’98, and I realized a long time ago that it’s best to block users who send bizarre emails. The transactions turn out poorly almost every single time. Don’t worry about not bidding, as I added you to my blocked bidder list almost immediately after you emailed the first time.

I sell as a hobby, not as a primary, secondary, or even tertiary source of income. You’re not doing me a favor by bidding on my stuff; I’m doing you a favor by offering it to you at a cheap price.

You still haven’t answered why it matters where in the US I’m from. Do you hate Easterners or something?

Keep your money (and your Rutger Hauer photos).

This is one of those guys who wins thousands of dollars worth of ebay junk every month. Check out his bidding history. Who spends $175 on game-used bats from washed-up major leaguers and $50 on Rutger Hauer photos? My jersey sold just fine without his meddling. If this guy can’t handle my location being Earth, I can’t imagine he’d handle a handling fee very well.

Here is another one about my location, just a day or so after the above moron:

bikejunky2004 is the winner.
I would like to know where you are located?? Your listing says EARTH, United States.

Are you saying I don’t live on Earth?

I don’t want to ruin the surprise when you see my return address when you receive the item.


Bikejunky is turning out to be a real psychopath, so more on him in a later update. Who would have thought that some loser who is obsessed with bicycles would end up being mentally deficient? He’s one of those guys who simply must never leave the computer, because I think I’ve received somewhere in the line of 300 emails from him, all of them worthless.

datoad82 is a potential buyer.
were is item located??….thanyou

What difference does it make? It’s coming from the US.

Having a vague item location is great, because it lets me block bidders like this. If you can’t spell “where” and “thank you,” I have little faith in your ability to correctly send payment.

I’ll end this post with this guy. His internet anger is so cute. I had no idea that my shipping status email policy could send someone into such a rage. The item is a Minnesota Twins long-sleeved shirt.

tbeaun is a potential buyer.
_Please wait two weeks after payment clears to ask shipping status questions. Constant badgering may lead to negative feedback. I do not send shipping status emails and I will not respond to emails of that nature, unless two full weeks have passed._..YOU DON’T SEND SHIPPING STATUS EMAILS?NICE HORSESHIT SHIPPING ATTITUDE. DINKS LIKE YOU OBVIOUSLY DESERVE THE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK YOU’VE EARNED. YOU ARE A SELF-CONFIRMED, 24 CARAT ASSHOLE.FOAD!

I like how you used the words ‘dink’ and ‘horseshit.’ This makes it hard to tell if you’re an adult with the mind of a 12-year-old or a spoiled pre-teen trying to act tough. The Twins suck and Kirby Puckett was an overrated, fat, abusive, ignorant sexual assaulter. Keep buying his stuff and have a nice life.

This happy fellow sent his message via Ebay Messages and hid his email address, just like a real internet tough guy. Needless to say, he did not bid on my Twins shirt. He did, however, bid on his 1,000th Twins pin. This guy spends more money on Twins pins than most people do on food. What the hell does he do with all these pins, anyway, wear them? Man, I hope not, because those people are lame.

August 9, 2007

Let’s start with a classic search

Filed under: terrible auctions, video games — J @ 11:56 pm

Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt for the NES is probably the most common video game ever produced. This is not a trade secret, as every game store, flea market stand, and thrift store practically gives these cartridges away. With millions in circulation, the game is essentially worthless.

One of my favorite all-time ebay searches involves finding auctions for Mario/DH for more than $5. Many don’t sell for a penny (with a cheap Buy It Now too) as you’ll see here:

Not unusual

Sure, some sell, sometimes even as high as $2 plus shipping. That doesn’t stop people from thinking their NES game is ultra-valuable and posting it with an insane price. Here’s a great example that I just found:

Just awful
Eight dollars plus an unspecified shipping and handling fee? Yeah, let me get my wallet.

The seller also paid extra for the gallery and 10-day listing upgrade, so that was money well-spent. Yeah, there’s 20 hours left in the auction, but I think it’s safe to say this won’t be changing hands.

Money lost, just on this item: Listing fee: $.40, 10-Day Duration: $.40, Gallery: $.35. That’s $1.15 *lost* by selling on ebay. Their other items aren’t exactly bringing home the bacon either. Well done.

This is a new seller, so it’s probably either a 14-year-old or someone’s grandma. Actually, everything’s spelled right, so it can’t be a 14-year-old. Way to post something without doing any research on the item, granny.


Filed under: Uncategorized — J @ 6:03 pm

So here it is. Lame introductions are lame, so I’ll keep it short. Read my About Me page in the upper right corner if you don’t know who I am or what I’m doing on the internet.

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