Ebay Morons Galore!

November 28, 2007

Stupid shit people have included with their Paypal payment

Paypal sucks and we all know that already, but they do make a pretty good job of making things easy for buyers. Once your account is set up, all it takes is a few mouse clicks to pay for an ebay item. They’ve even fixed the combined shipping problem which used to be a hassle for years. However, dumb people still screw things up and people put some really stupid crap in the “Note to Seller” section. Their text is in red; I am in black.

Note to seller:
If possible please use as return address: Ultimate Sports Enterprises P.O. Box XXXXX YYYYY, OH 44ZZZ

What? Why would I want to give someone else credit? The jersey came from me, not some crappy company from Ohio. Let’s look them up.

Wonderful. It’s a second-rate Yahoo sporting goods store. Anyone up for KC Royals Tailgating Merchandise? Do people tailgate for baseball games to begin with?

I also did a whois search on their domain, and the name registered didn’t match the name that bought the jersey, even though the Paypal email was an admin account from the domain. What does it all mean? Hell if I know.

Literally minutes later, I receive another payment with this stupid note attached:

Note to seller:
DO NOT OPEN GATE..RING BELL ON GATE

I guess I’m delivering this one myself. Who’s up for a road trip to Liverpool, NY?

Here’s another one that reminds me of the return address loser above:

Note to seller:
If possible, include a gift card saying:  Happy Belated Birthday, enjoy!.  Love, T,M,Z&G.

There is absolutely no way that is happening. I’m an ebay seller, not the museum gift shop. I really hope Derek enjoyed his unlicensed Trinidad 2006 World Cup jersey, even though it was late. It’s a shitty gift made worse, because it took four people to come up with it. If four of my friends or family members came together to get me cheap bootleg garbage, I’d be pissed.

The last one for today happened a while ago, but it’s still hilarious and the ultimate standard of Note to Seller stupidity:

Note to seller:
Hi! Sorry about the delay! Here is payment for the above, plus some suggestions for preparation and packaging: If necesary to fold, PLEASE do so in manner so as NOT to crease screenprinted lettering/logos; then CAREFULLY envelop in tissue or wrap (NO TAPE) to ensure against dust, fingerprints, staining, snags, stretching, or tears to garment; and finally, place between TWO appropriate sized backing boards to keep sturdy, flat, and again to avoid ANY markings, pinholes, pilling, discoloration, deformation or rips. If any tags, keep INTACT and ATTACHED, preventing these from folds or edge fraying as well. I appreciate the throughness and added precautions, as I do like my collectibles to arrive in PRISTINE condition. A heavy duty reinforced mailer, or box with bubble wrap for cushioning, and to keep jostling/shifting minimal would be great to. Let me know funds received and order being readied at jpXXXXX@yahoo.com or ebay. Hope you are well and enjoying the Summer! JP

Are you kidding me? He won some old dirty Toronto Blue Jays jersey and he wants it wrapped in tissue paper and sandwiched by cardboard? Yeah, I’d hate to get fingerprints on your jersey. Eat a bag of dicks. Who has time for that? You didn’t win an autographed Ben Franklin 8×10, you won something a fat guy sweat in and probably spilled mustard on. I folded it and threw it in a brown 9×12 envelope like I do for all other transactions and I later received a positive feedback. I guess he was joking.

9 Comments »

  1. Ok people if Paypal have caused you distress here is a cheap way to cause them some back …especially if you are a power seller …it takes one of there people a couple of days to get this in order …to their expense only costs you a tenner …ENJOY

    [ADMIN NOTE: I have no idea what this about or if it’s spam but it looks retarded so I’m deleting it.]

    Comment by Jim — September 2, 2008 @ 4:25 am

  2. this was totaly awsome!
    i stumbled on it purely by accedent, but since i too do alot of selling on ebay, it caught my eye. i’ve not had a string of bad feedback condensed into such a short time frame, but have deal with my fair share of retarted buyers. i’d love to catch a beer & laugh at some of the shit you could probably come up with!
    when ever your in the philly area, send me an email. johnservis66@gmail.com
    cheers! j.

    Comment by john servis — August 16, 2010 @ 11:38 pm

  3. when i go to a gift shop, i always look for cute little stuffed animals and other cute stuffs’;`

    Comment by Electric Burner : — October 28, 2010 @ 5:08 pm

    • This is literally the worst spam comment I’ve ever seen, so I’m approving it.

      Comment by J — October 28, 2010 @ 7:23 pm

  4. there are sporting goods that are very cheap but the quality is not very good **”

    Comment by Gel Fuel — November 18, 2010 @ 7:43 am

  5. This is often a amazing blog, could you be interested in making time for an interview concerning just how you made it? If so e-mail myself!

    Comment by source — June 4, 2012 @ 2:25 am

  6. JohnServis66 is a Youtube Creeper and shouldn’t even be allowed to talk here.

    Comment by RJ — July 15, 2012 @ 12:52 am

  7. Contamos com os profissionais mais experientes do mercado e desta forma atingimos essa posição de
    melhor Desentupidora da localidade desde Colombo.

    Comment by desentupidora colombense — October 3, 2016 @ 7:26 am


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