Ebay Morons Galore!

December 15, 2007

I hate these people

So far, I’ve only really posted minor morons; the ones you can just laugh off. Their mistakes are relatively harmless in the grand scheme of things and they’re easy to poke fun at with a smile.

However, the users I’m featuring today are absolute scum. They are worthless and they piss me off. I hate them and I think they should be banned from ebay and the rest of the internet. They don’t read, they have a bad attitude, and they make life miserable for good sellers.

First there’s this asshole who has the reading comprehension skills of a retarded dolphin. He recently won a Willis McGahee youth jersey from me, but minutes before the auction ended, he emailed to say he wanted to cancel the bid. Well, why not just retract it? You’re allowed to. You don’t need to ask my permission. Of course I wasn’t there, so he ended up winning, then a few days later I see this:

I emailed you before this ended and was still wondering if we can more or less pretend this never happened. I don’t know how it would work, just pretend it was paid and you keep the item or there is a way to cancle the sale? Any response would be pretty helpful. The reason I no longer want to purchase this item is the fact that it is a Youth size and not an adult.

More or less pretend this never happened? Pretend it was paid? “Cancle” the sale? Keep the item? Any response would be helpful? Ok, here’s a response. Die in a ditch you illiterate fool. Is that pretty helpful enough?

You thought it was an adult? How is this possible? Let’s look at the title, item details and item description:

title item desc/details

Clearly this is an adult jersey. I mean, why bother reading the title, item details or item description when you can just look at all the perty picshurs and bid away, drooling like a mongoloid. Not surprisingly, this guy’s address was a frat at Pitt University. Have you ever met anyone of any value to society who lived in a frathouse?

Here’s someone who’s somehow stupider. Check out this amazing combination of dipshit logic and first-grade writing ability:

Yes Iwas trying to pay for the item that I won and my computer went out so instead I purchased your second item. What do I need to doin order to un due this transaction?

In English, I think this woman is trying to say, “I bought an item from you and I was about to pay with Paypal, but my library dial-up connection died, so I bought another, different item from you because I’m an imbicile who has no idea what she’s doing on the internet. I am bottom-feeding filth that embodies everything wrong with this country. Go Yankees!”

I mean, really. I understand that not everyone is going to be a computer expert, but this doesn’t even make sense. Whenever I need to know the point of view of the computer sub-novice, I ask my mom. I brought up the situation and even she thinks this moron is beyond dense. Way to set a new standard of stupidity. I didn’t think it was possible.

This last loser is a wonderful combination of stupid, naive, cheap, and opinionated. What a winner. In a nutshell, this guy bought an item and never paid during the course of 2+ weeks, so I filed a non-paying bidder dispute. He then emailed to ask what size the jersey he bought was. What the hell is that? Just look at the damn auction. Like my friend and fellow seller Dave says, if you don’t believe the auction, why would you believe the email? Stupid questions are insta-deleted.

I waited another week, sent him another Paypal invoice, but nothing. I closed the dispute and negged him. A week later, I start receiving stupid emails from him. Here they are, in order, him in red, me in blue. It’s pretty self-explanitory.

one thing i dont appreciate the feedback you left on my feedback area, i emailed you twice asking you what size the jersey was and you never responded not even once, oh but how quick you are to respond you not getting your money.

You asked AFTER you already won. At that point, it doesn’t matter what size the jersey is. You are bound to buy it, because you bid and won. If there was any confusion, you should have asked before you bid. Stop passing the buck. It’s pathetic.

no the point was and is i was still going to buy it no matter the size but u have you head so far up god knows where you dont see it that is why i refused to pay MORON. learn to communicate when your customers and maybe youd understand.

Bullshit. If you didn’t care about the size, you would have paid and been happy with the jersey in either size. Stop making up logically faulty excuses for why you didn’t pay. You sound like a child.

no im not making excuses the point is if you are a seller and the buyer no matter if the bid is over has a question. you should answer it, very simple, all you care about it the money who cares about the buyer as long as i get my money, but whats done is done, no sense arguing over this esp. with someone like you a seller who doesnt know how to sell properly and list the right sizes on his listings Mr “ive been doing this since 1998!” if you would have responded to my email you would have gotten your money very easily, it about the customer not the seller!! get it? good luck with the rest “business”

Thanks for the naive and hilariously incorrect opinions. I filed them under “Worthless” for future reference. Keep selling video games for 25% of their ebay value and have a nice life.

Oh, this is another one of those guys who is confused by stock photos and stock photo disclaimers, just like these jerks. That’s what he means when he says I don’t “know how to sell properly.” He sells around one item a month, very poorly, usually a video game system, always for far less than its actual value. What a tool. I’m sick of these worthless cretins. Until next time…



  1. First off, fantastic blog 🙂

    I have been around for a good number of years on EBay but my dealings with EBay members does not even begin to rival some of these spastics you have to “communicate” with.

    Keep em comming!

    Comment by justyouwait — December 15, 2007 @ 8:12 am

  2. I loathe Ebay and all the ‘tard buyers on it. I used to have my photo up on my profile. Big mistake. It left the gap wide open for males to be out and out abusive, thinking that I would shrivel like a lily over their diabolic words. Then there’s the sleaseball company itself that does nothing and I mean nothing about these idiots that are allowed to be buyers. After being stiffed yet again in December, I’ve decided I’ve taken enough… I empathize!
    And… wish there was a good alternative.

    Comment by ebay hater — January 9, 2008 @ 8:10 pm

  3. I am necessary wish to find

    Comment by HourgyAmouddy — February 24, 2008 @ 3:45 pm

  4. You really need to develop some patience and understanding for these buyers, my friend.

    The first guy – Buffalo Bills Youth Jersey – didn’t actually have a problem reading the listing. It’s actually YOUR fault that he doesn’t want to buy it now. He was an X-Large Youth when you put up the listing on a 10 day auction. He put in a bid on the first day and then gained 30 pounds over the next nine days eating to calm his worries about whether he’d win or not because he didn’t know how to place a proxy bid. When the auction ended, he was an Adult X-Large. Shame on you.

    The second one is even more deserving of sympathy. You just don’t understand the meaning of the phrase “went out”… You see, she forgot to put on her foil hat before bidding. So after she clicked the “Buy it now” button, the screen came back with the “Pay Now” screen. Without the foil hat, the electrons from her 30 year old Tandy monitor confused the signals in her brain and she clicked the “Buy another” button by mistake….

    And that last guy… well, HE is right too. You should always answer any question a buyer – past, present or future – asks you. If he asks what size the shirt is, you really should have told him “It’s green”. He would have asked a second time and it would not have hurt you to honestly answer him “Bangladesh”. (Or Pakistan, Turkey, etc.) By then he would have realized it was not safe to keep asking you questions and he just would have paid the invoice. And probably added a tip.

    You really need to develop some good Customer Service skills.


    Comment by Rick — February 26, 2011 @ 8:38 pm

    • Yeah, you’re right. If I only knew then what I know now….

      Comment by J — February 27, 2011 @ 1:45 am

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