Ebay Morons Galore!

November 13, 2008

BEST WEEK EVER!!!! (part one)

And of course by “best” I mean “complete disaster.” Except that “complete disaster week ever” doesn’t make any sense, but you get my drift. This week, I achieved something I had never done before in the modern era of selling (post-VCD for me) — three negs and a neutral feedback, absolutely none of them my fault. And on top of that, the neutral feedback guy stole ~$450 worth of stuff/money from me. Awesome.

Actually, it wasn’t even a week. They all came in the same three-and-a-half day span. It was like I got six months’ worth of morons out of the way all at once.

Yeah, obviously I’ve gotten bad feedback before, plenty of them, but never this many in a row and never completely out of the blue like this. Here’s the breakdown:

Neutral feedback: Item never arrived but paypal got my money back…$30 shipping for that?

The item was an expensive hockey jersey and it was going to the Vancouver area. I shipped it two days after they paid via Priority Mail. Barely ten days after he paid for the item (seven business days), the buyer starts going nuts. Here’s the first exchange:


I paid $30 for shipping so where is the jersey? I would expect it to arrive pretty damn fast at that rate!

It was mailed soon after you paid via International Priority Mail. Keep in mind that it can still take up to 2 weeks for items to arrive sent via that method.

At this point, he opens a Paypal dispute and immediately escalates it. I know I’m fucked, because there is no tracking number with Priority Mail, only EMI/Global Express, which I didn’t use because it would have cost $45-60 for such a heavy item. I can’t win the dispute; I need to have him close it himself. The package had to arrive within the next 10 days or he’s getting all of his money back, S&H included.

Keep in mind I live on the east coast (American side), so even with Priority shipping, it can still take a while. I make Priority mandatory for all expensive items to eliminate the chance of the item being lost and to keep the crybaby Canadians quiet. Until this point, I had never lost a package shipped via Priority, domestic or international.

I tried reasoning with him, telling him to be patient and that it would be there soon. I even scanned in the dated customs form, proving that I had mailed it when I said I did. It wasn’t a timely item. It wasn’t like he was going to a game or was meeting a player for autographs or something. He’s one of those guys who buys cheap jerseys to resell in their own store. Here’s another stupid email from him:


USPS express priority (which costs about $20 for a jersey) takes about 3 days to get to Canada. I have a feeling you didn’t spend anywhere near $30 on shipping which is why it is taking so long. I’ll cancel the claim when and if it arrives, I’m not into defrauding people but I will damn well hold you accountable for that kind of shipping fee.

“Express priority” is not a real service USPS provides. There is EMI (Express Mail International) and Priority. Not both. You can only use one or the other. Also, it does NOT take three days for ANY package to get to Canada, aside from Global Express Guaranteed, which, according to the usps.gov postage calculator, would have cost $69.75. It even says on the website that International Priority can take 6-10 days, sometimes more depending on exactly where it’s going. This is a seller spewing all this nonsense, not some hick who gets one or two packages a year.

He makes a big deal out of the $30 shipping charge. First of all, the shipping price is listed in three places in my item description. I’ll never understand why people bid but don’t agree to the auction terms. Second, I clearly state that there is a handling fee on all transactions, especially international ones since the fees are so high. Again, don’t like it, don’t bid. I say it in bright red text. Third, I was pretty close with the shipping cost. The actual postage was twenty-some dollars, which I proved to him when I scanned in the customs form one email later.

Yes, he’s going to hold me accountable for doing everything I said I would do. That, or steal my money.

I don’t think I need to tell you that I ended up losing the chargeback. I really did hold back on the emails. I tried to be as nice and professional as humanly possible because I wanted him to close the dispute. I know this is a website about snarky responses to stupid retards, but there weren’t any at this point. After I read the email stating I lost the dispute, I checked my feedback to see there was a happy little neutral waiting for me. How nice.

At this point, I don’t give a shit, because the dispute is over and feedback was left. I seriously want him to know just how dumb he is and that his actions were not acceptable on any level, so I went into overly dramatic mode this time. Here goes:

I see you have decided to steal my money with help from Paypal. Right now, you have caused me to lose a $350 jersey AND $95 cash. You, (NAME), are a thief. There is no other way to put it. You deserve to be locked up and held accountable for your actions. How do you sleep at night and look people in the eye when you know you’ve stolen ~$450 worth of goods and money from an honest stranger?

People like you make me sick. I proved that I mailed the jersey promptly via the listed method and you still proceeded with the chargeback. A chargeback that was opened at an absurdly early time. Impatient, idiotic buyers like you, (NAME), are the reason that ebay is a cesspool. You are the reason that most US sellers don’t ship to Canada or overseas. You want the convenience and low prices of buying internationally, but you are unwilling to accept the minor risk that the item won’t arrive or will arrive late. Yes, it’s the seller’s fault that Canada Post is wildly unpredictable with customs and delivery time. Keep telling yourself that.

Please, for the good of your country, leave ebay forever and buy your crappy hockey jerseys and N64s in your own hometown. Sellers don’t want customers like you. We’d rather make a little less money and deal with someone civil.

On top of all that, you decided to leave me bad feedback. Please, tell me exactly what I, as a seller, did wrong. Unless you wanted me to fly 2000 miles and hand-deliver the item personally, what more would you like me to do? You even made note of the shipping price in the feedback. How dare you make a comment like that when that $30 was part of the $95 you stole from me.

Seriously, you are the worst buyer I’ve ever dealt with in 10 years of selling and this is a new record of financial loss. You are very lucky that you have the veil of the internet and its complete lack of standards and rules to hide behind. Kindly fuck off.

We went back and forth a few times, his responses containing more and more idiotic nonsense that I eventually stopped caring. He did say he’d let me know if it arrived, so maybe me ripping him knocked some sense into his brain, but I doubt it. I don’t care about the neutral, but a $95 chargeback that I couldn’t fight was a new personal record for me.

I received the next bad feedback one day after the neutral and it’s about as baffling as possible.


It was one of those WTF moments where I literally said aloud, “What the fuck.” The item was an NFL hooded sweatshirt and I didn’t immediately recognize the buyer’s username. I looked up the transaction and I found that I shipped the item within 24 hours of receiving payment and she received the item two days later.

I searched my email to see if any emails were sent and there was one seemingly innocuous exchange. You tell me if this is worthy of receiving a negative feedback:

What color was this supposed to be and do you plan on leaving feedback for the purchase I made on this? Thanks.

Not sure what you mean. It’s exactly as pictured, with a throwback-style faded brown color.

Well obviously from the pic I can’t make out the color.

That’s IT. Nothing else was said. She didn’t say there was a problem with anything. Yes, I forgot to answer her feedback question, but that didn’t come up in her last email. I really don’t know how she couldn’t tell what color the item was, because my photos are huge and numerous. It wasn’t even a stock photo either, it was of the exact item because I only had one. Clearly, this one was 100% my fault and I am a horrible monster for promptly shipping the exact item she bought.

I reported the negative feedback to ebay, and they didn’t even give me a response. Fuckers.

OK, that’s a big enough wall of text for one post. I’ll finish this up in the next day or so.


  1. I feel your pain. I have now attempted to sell an item on ebay a couple times and twice have been bitten with the “Check must have gotten lost in the mail” routine. Dumb luck? Perhaps.

    Keep up the good work here. It really is a good resource for sellers I believe.

    Comment by Kevin — November 13, 2008 @ 9:12 am

  2. Welcome to the new eBay. This is called “improving the buyer experience”. Yay for disruptive innovation, eh?

    Comment by bonni — November 16, 2008 @ 12:49 am

  3. I hate shipping internationally so I rarely ever do. But a guy recently purchased one of my lots and without even asking paid the price plus 12 dollars (us ground) shipping and expected me to ship it to Argentina. According to him he gets plenty of big boxes of stuff from the US for that price. Sure enough I got a new priority box from the usps and they gave me a 49.99 price. 15 emails later he paid the extra cost.

    It was still a big pain in the ass, I’m shipping it off tomorrow, I pray the rest goes smoothly and I don’t have a nightmare experience like you.

    Comment by Chris — February 5, 2009 @ 9:18 pm

  4. I ship clothes to Canada via Priority Mail International and I can tell you that anyone in Canada who thinks they’ll get the package in 3 days is dreaming. My feeling is that Canadian Customs has 3 people on the job, and 2 of them call in sick each day. I’ve had it take a month for a package to arrive. Most of our neighbors to the North know their postal system sucks. I feel your pain.

    Comment by Randy3167890 — December 31, 2009 @ 6:10 am

    • I’ve actually lost a few more items going to Canada since this was originally posted. Another one was sent via Priority. I swear the Canadian postal service has been worse than Mexico’s recently. Hell, I have had better luck shipping to war-torn Middle Eastern regions than Canada in recent months.

      Comment by J — December 31, 2009 @ 6:19 am

      • As a Canadian, I agree completely. It’s not only slow but incredibly expensive to ship out.

        How bad is it?

        I’m in Vancouver. If I sell something to Toronto and ship it through Canada Post, it’ll cost me DOUBLE the price than if I were to drive 30 minutes to Washington state and ship it via USPS. Not only that, but sometimes it arrives faster too! I count my lucky stars every day that Vancouver is so close to the US border for me to do this (especially when they went on strike last year — the USPS was my lifeline).

        Also, when buying, unless I’m in a hurry or the shipping costs are too high for Canada, I often find that using a Washington-based receiving service (which costs a few extra dollars) for my packages is a better alternative.

        The irony? The place in Washington is surrounded by water on 3 sides and Canada on the 4th side. So for USPS trucks, they must cross the border on Interstate 5, drive through Canada for 30 minutes, then cross back into US soil. (Seriously, look it up — the place is called Point Roberts, WA.)

        It sure beats paying much more for shipping, letting the item sit at Canada Customs for a week, then having Canada Post lolly-gag for a while before FINALLY receiving the package.

        You guys in the US have no idea how lucky you are that you have the USPS.

        Comment by Bucky — February 12, 2012 @ 11:28 pm

      • Thanks for the comments. I think sellers who use the USPS as their main shipping provider know how good it is. I’ve been selling since 1998 and I don’t think they’ve lost more than one or two packages in the US, and even then, I’m not convinced the buyer wasn’t attempting a scam or something. They’re cheap and quick. UPS is fine for really big packages, but anything under 15 pounds has to go USPS. I’ve heard the horror stories about Canada Post and I’m certainly not envious of your situation.

        Comment by J — February 14, 2012 @ 12:49 am

    • PS, you need to set up your Paypal account so that you can print your own labels. You can get tracking that way for free if you’re using Priority Mail International. Having said that, I’ve had the experience of shipping light items and found that using PMI was $20, as opposed to shipping a light, cheap item by regular mail for a couple of bucks. In those cases, I just walked it to the post office and risked it getting lost. It was more cost-effective to take their word for whether they received it or not. No problems so far doing that. However, on more expensive items, with tracking, I have had to do a lot of hand-holding on items to Canada until they finally arrived. My buyers have been good about it as long as I responded everyday asking if they had received it yet. I’ve had packages get to the friggin’ Ukraine with no problem, but Canada is like a Third World country. Go figure.

      Comment by Randy3167890 — December 31, 2009 @ 6:23 am

      • Yeah, I do that now, but at the time, I didn’t realize that I could do internationals with Paypal Shipping. I can’t wait for the day when we can print First Class Internationals at home, because taking them to the actual PO is a drag once you get used to never waiting in line. Even with the Priority tracking to Canada, I still have had a few never show up, and the tracking is no help. Pretty much anything under $70-100, I just ship first class.

        Comment by J — December 31, 2009 @ 3:03 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: