Ebay Morons Galore!

May 11, 2009

Ban sandrine-77

Ebay user sandrine-77 is a French couple who make selling on ebay an absolute nightmare.

These worthless shitstains, Jerome and Sandrine Fuchey, buy dozens of children’s toys a week, pay late if at all, then leave negative/neutral feedback for non-French sellers about 20% of the time. I know this because I had the misfortune of dealing with them a while back.

They negged me (three out of four in my Worst Week Ever (see previous update)) seemingly out of the blue. What happened? They bought a pair of Adidas shorts from me and instantly refused to pay. They said the shipping was too high. Well, all shipping costs are listed in three different places, and honestly, my shipping rates are more than fair. I’m not mootown, who charges $11 to mail a t-shirt.

I filed a dispute about 10 days after the item ended, and five days later, sandrine-77 responded. He (I’m going with “he” from herein, because Jerome is the one who paid) said he was sorry for the late payment and that it would be completed the next day. Fine. It sold for a good amount and I just wanted the money. Payment arrived, I shipped, and I didn’t hear anything for about a month, so I figured all was well.

Nope.  29 days after he paid, Jerome emailed me and demanded that he receive a full shipping refund or else he was going to neg me. He said the postage on the package did not match the exact amount he paid, so only a full shipping refund would do (of course). Now, I don’t give partial refunds for this reason, as I have a clear handling fee on all international items. God forbid I charge $1-2 more than the actual cost of postage. I linked him with the FAQ where this policy is completely outlined and a few minutes later I get negged, in French. Sweet.

To not give my account away here, I won’t repeat it verbatim, but essentially it said “no communication, dishonest seller, I don’t agree with his policies.”

Welp, this is a clear violation of ebay’s Feedback Extortion policy, so let’s give them an email. I hear back from them in a few days and they tell me no violation had occurred and nothing would be done. Oh right, I had forgotten that ebay/Paypal always takes the buyer’s side, no matter what.

We exchanged some pointless vulgar emails, because at that point, who cares. Here are some excerpts, his emails translated from French to English via Google’s language tools.

Thanks for the feedback, asshole. Please do all sellers a favor and leave ebay forever. YOU ARE WORTHLESS. This is why sellers refuse to ship overseas and charge handling fees. Go fuck yourself.

Enculer Fuck you, asshole and damage, I notify ebay of your dishonesty and good luck, you know the rules are not complied with poor nase ebay, you will learn and hello suspension of account, Tchao pignouf … … … … ..

Good luck with that. I haven’t done anything wrong and ebay will agree. WHY DID YOU BID IF YOU DIDN’T LIKE THE SHIPPING PRICE? How dumb are you?

Yeah me too but one day I wanted to play CON like you and I got it in the ass as you will, good courage … … … … … … …. L)

Uh, yeah… Good one…?

Anyway, at this point I checked the feedback he left other sellers and I was absolutely floored by what this guy is able to get away with. Just look for yourself (click me). Look at all those negs! Ignore all the feedback left for buyers and French sellers and check out all the red and grey!

These simply cannot all be bad transactions. Taking a closer look, almost all of the negs sandrine-77 leaves are for good sellers who don’t frequently get negged. Many of the negs involve petty non-issues a normal person would ignore. A lot of them are complaining about the shipping cost, but every single auction has the shipping cost listed. Why bid if you don’t like the listed price? I seriously do not understand this.

Many of his negs mention bad or no communication. I find it hard to believe that all of these sellers are ignoring his emails. Hell, he said that about me, and I responded to all one email he sent before negging me.

At this point, I had to email some of these sellers to hear their side of the story. I got some responses and here they are (names removed):

Hi, Thanks for your email. I too tried calling the 1-800 number for a resolution and they were of no help to me. This person purchased7 items, did not pay for them. filed a dispute and clsed it. After the closing of the dispute, they paid for it. The next day he/she filed a paypal dispute stating non-receipt. The seven strikes on their account were reversed by paypal and she was able to give me 7 negative feedbacks. I don’t understand how that’s fair. If you have any luck let me know. Thanks

***********************

Thanks a lot. I am reporting it and plan to make the case that he is tying to use feedback to extort money from people. My case was similar. He asked me how much shipping would be and then bid on my item. I charged him what I told him I would for shipping, and then he demanded a refund for a portion of the shipping he felt was unfair, although it was exactly what I quoted. I am hoping eBay will resolve this. I am writing it up and submitting it tomorrow. Thanks again for the message!

***********************

Hey,
Just an FYI, I went to eBay about sandrine77 and eBay said that he did not violate any policies.  So I guess eBay feels that feedback extortion is OK.  What a joke.  Hope it went better for you.

No, it didn’t, but we already knew that. I’m going to email some of the more recent sellers and see if I can get more stories. Maybe if enough good sellers report sandrine-77, we can boot his worthless ass off of ebay forever (yeah right). If you’re reading this and you sell, make sure you add them to your blocked bidder list. You never know.

If you are somehow reading this page, sandrine-77, abattre toi-même (but first leave some positives for all the sellers you’ve bought stuff from).

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November 13, 2008

BEST WEEK EVER!!!! (part one)

And of course by “best” I mean “complete disaster.” Except that “complete disaster week ever” doesn’t make any sense, but you get my drift. This week, I achieved something I had never done before in the modern era of selling (post-VCD for me) — three negs and a neutral feedback, absolutely none of them my fault. And on top of that, the neutral feedback guy stole ~$450 worth of stuff/money from me. Awesome.

Actually, it wasn’t even a week. They all came in the same three-and-a-half day span. It was like I got six months’ worth of morons out of the way all at once.

Yeah, obviously I’ve gotten bad feedback before, plenty of them, but never this many in a row and never completely out of the blue like this. Here’s the breakdown:

Neutral feedback: Item never arrived but paypal got my money back…$30 shipping for that?

The item was an expensive hockey jersey and it was going to the Vancouver area. I shipped it two days after they paid via Priority Mail. Barely ten days after he paid for the item (seven business days), the buyer starts going nuts. Here’s the first exchange:

Hey,

I paid $30 for shipping so where is the jersey? I would expect it to arrive pretty damn fast at that rate!

It was mailed soon after you paid via International Priority Mail. Keep in mind that it can still take up to 2 weeks for items to arrive sent via that method.

At this point, he opens a Paypal dispute and immediately escalates it. I know I’m fucked, because there is no tracking number with Priority Mail, only EMI/Global Express, which I didn’t use because it would have cost $45-60 for such a heavy item. I can’t win the dispute; I need to have him close it himself. The package had to arrive within the next 10 days or he’s getting all of his money back, S&H included.

Keep in mind I live on the east coast (American side), so even with Priority shipping, it can still take a while. I make Priority mandatory for all expensive items to eliminate the chance of the item being lost and to keep the crybaby Canadians quiet. Until this point, I had never lost a package shipped via Priority, domestic or international.

I tried reasoning with him, telling him to be patient and that it would be there soon. I even scanned in the dated customs form, proving that I had mailed it when I said I did. It wasn’t a timely item. It wasn’t like he was going to a game or was meeting a player for autographs or something. He’s one of those guys who buys cheap jerseys to resell in their own store. Here’s another stupid email from him:

Listen,

USPS express priority (which costs about $20 for a jersey) takes about 3 days to get to Canada. I have a feeling you didn’t spend anywhere near $30 on shipping which is why it is taking so long. I’ll cancel the claim when and if it arrives, I’m not into defrauding people but I will damn well hold you accountable for that kind of shipping fee.

“Express priority” is not a real service USPS provides. There is EMI (Express Mail International) and Priority. Not both. You can only use one or the other. Also, it does NOT take three days for ANY package to get to Canada, aside from Global Express Guaranteed, which, according to the usps.gov postage calculator, would have cost $69.75. It even says on the website that International Priority can take 6-10 days, sometimes more depending on exactly where it’s going. This is a seller spewing all this nonsense, not some hick who gets one or two packages a year.

He makes a big deal out of the $30 shipping charge. First of all, the shipping price is listed in three places in my item description. I’ll never understand why people bid but don’t agree to the auction terms. Second, I clearly state that there is a handling fee on all transactions, especially international ones since the fees are so high. Again, don’t like it, don’t bid. I say it in bright red text. Third, I was pretty close with the shipping cost. The actual postage was twenty-some dollars, which I proved to him when I scanned in the customs form one email later.

Yes, he’s going to hold me accountable for doing everything I said I would do. That, or steal my money.

I don’t think I need to tell you that I ended up losing the chargeback. I really did hold back on the emails. I tried to be as nice and professional as humanly possible because I wanted him to close the dispute. I know this is a website about snarky responses to stupid retards, but there weren’t any at this point. After I read the email stating I lost the dispute, I checked my feedback to see there was a happy little neutral waiting for me. How nice.

At this point, I don’t give a shit, because the dispute is over and feedback was left. I seriously want him to know just how dumb he is and that his actions were not acceptable on any level, so I went into overly dramatic mode this time. Here goes:

I see you have decided to steal my money with help from Paypal. Right now, you have caused me to lose a $350 jersey AND $95 cash. You, (NAME), are a thief. There is no other way to put it. You deserve to be locked up and held accountable for your actions. How do you sleep at night and look people in the eye when you know you’ve stolen ~$450 worth of goods and money from an honest stranger?

People like you make me sick. I proved that I mailed the jersey promptly via the listed method and you still proceeded with the chargeback. A chargeback that was opened at an absurdly early time. Impatient, idiotic buyers like you, (NAME), are the reason that ebay is a cesspool. You are the reason that most US sellers don’t ship to Canada or overseas. You want the convenience and low prices of buying internationally, but you are unwilling to accept the minor risk that the item won’t arrive or will arrive late. Yes, it’s the seller’s fault that Canada Post is wildly unpredictable with customs and delivery time. Keep telling yourself that.

Please, for the good of your country, leave ebay forever and buy your crappy hockey jerseys and N64s in your own hometown. Sellers don’t want customers like you. We’d rather make a little less money and deal with someone civil.

On top of all that, you decided to leave me bad feedback. Please, tell me exactly what I, as a seller, did wrong. Unless you wanted me to fly 2000 miles and hand-deliver the item personally, what more would you like me to do? You even made note of the shipping price in the feedback. How dare you make a comment like that when that $30 was part of the $95 you stole from me.

Seriously, you are the worst buyer I’ve ever dealt with in 10 years of selling and this is a new record of financial loss. You are very lucky that you have the veil of the internet and its complete lack of standards and rules to hide behind. Kindly fuck off.

We went back and forth a few times, his responses containing more and more idiotic nonsense that I eventually stopped caring. He did say he’d let me know if it arrived, so maybe me ripping him knocked some sense into his brain, but I doubt it. I don’t care about the neutral, but a $95 chargeback that I couldn’t fight was a new personal record for me.

I received the next bad feedback one day after the neutral and it’s about as baffling as possible.

Negative feedback: BUYERS REVIEW SELLERS NEG FEEDBACK…

It was one of those WTF moments where I literally said aloud, “What the fuck.” The item was an NFL hooded sweatshirt and I didn’t immediately recognize the buyer’s username. I looked up the transaction and I found that I shipped the item within 24 hours of receiving payment and she received the item two days later.

I searched my email to see if any emails were sent and there was one seemingly innocuous exchange. You tell me if this is worthy of receiving a negative feedback:

What color was this supposed to be and do you plan on leaving feedback for the purchase I made on this? Thanks.

Not sure what you mean. It’s exactly as pictured, with a throwback-style faded brown color.

Well obviously from the pic I can’t make out the color.

That’s IT. Nothing else was said. She didn’t say there was a problem with anything. Yes, I forgot to answer her feedback question, but that didn’t come up in her last email. I really don’t know how she couldn’t tell what color the item was, because my photos are huge and numerous. It wasn’t even a stock photo either, it was of the exact item because I only had one. Clearly, this one was 100% my fault and I am a horrible monster for promptly shipping the exact item she bought.

I reported the negative feedback to ebay, and they didn’t even give me a response. Fuckers.

OK, that’s a big enough wall of text for one post. I’ll finish this up in the next day or so.

July 25, 2008

A package from Texas (Ebay Morons Hall of Fame Idiot #2)

When I checked my mail earlier today, I noticed there was one of those “We Missed You” notes from the post office, telling you they have a package for you that needs a signature. I found it strange, because I’m not expecting anything, let alone anything important enough to be signed for.

I walked over, picked the package up, and once I saw who it was from, I immediately started laughing. I didn’t even need to open it as I knew exactly what was inside. It was an ebay item back from May, whose return was not authorized by me. Let’s start at the beginning.

In late May, this guy bought an authentic Team USA Soccer jersey made by Nike from me. He paid and insisted I use Signature Confirmation. No big deal, kind of a strange request, but whatever. I shipped within 48 hours and after two days or so he started sending me crazy daily emails like this:

I sent you $40 by paypal per our agreement for the White nike
>> USA soccer jersey size Large. Today is May 28th, and as of yesterday, I have
>> STILL not seen it in my PO BOX. Have you sent it yet? Maybe you forgot. I
>> don’t know. If so, PLEASE send it by SIGNATURE CONFIRMATION priority mail.
>> This way we both know I got it. NOBODY but ME signs for mt stuff at my PO
>> BOX just so you know. Please update me on the situation and give mt the
>> tracking number on the signature confirmation. Also, can you get me a
>> Germany white #7 Schweinsteiger jersey in ome white size Large also?
>> Thanks, (HIS NAME)

and:

Hi,
STILL WAITING for my jersey, did you send it yet? Let me know, and give me the postal tracking number for the signature confirmation please so I can look at expected delivery date. Also, what can you sell me a white home Germany soccer with #7 Schweinsteiger name kit and the Euro 2008 patch on the shoulder in size LARGE? Please advise.

I had already shipped his jersey with the SigCon so I looked up the tracking number. Turns out he’s one of those idiots who complains about slow shipping, when the item is sitting at his post office, waiting to be picked up. I sent him:

I looked up the tracking number and saw this:

“Label/Receipt Number: 9121 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Status: Notice Left

We attempted to deliver your item at 11:01 AM on June 6, 2008 in SPRING, TX 77393 and a notice was left. It can be redelivered or picked up at the Post Office. If the item is unclaimed, it will be returned to the sender. Information, if available, is updated every evening. Please check again later.”

So it looks like you have your item after all. You just need to pick it up. Also, you were sent an automatic email from Paypal with full shipping/tracking information when I shipped, so I don’t know why you’re still asking for a number. Thanks.

I noticed he finally picked up the jersey two days later, so I figured all was well. Not so much. Almost two weeks later I got this:

Hi,
The jersey arrived and picked it up yesterday. Unfortunately, it looks like NIKE has “downsized” their jerseys a bit. Though it says same exact measurements as my Manchester United jersey (which fits me perfectly). However, the shoulders are too tight, the torso seems a bit small, and the sleeves are way too short. So I need that same jersey in Size Extra Large please (XL) instead. I put the USA jersey on top of my Man U. jersey, and saw it could practically “fit” into my MAn U. jersey. I know the XL in USA white will fit, so please set one aside for me and I’ll send it back to you, then you send me the right size. The jersey is really nice. Too bad Nike can’t keep their sizing correctly. Notr your fault. Oh well, that’s the way the ball bounces, huh? Have a great day, and please advise me that you HAVE set aside an Extra Large in this USA jersey for me. Thanks.
Cheers, (HIS NAME)

Note how he says he picked the jersey up “yesterday” when he actually did like 12 days previous. Did it take him two full weeks to send this email? Disregarding that, I don’t know what more I could have done for this guy. The item was accurately listed and I provided measurements. I didn’t even have any more size XLs at this point, so I just had a laugh at yet another worthless soccer fan and moved on.

Fast forward to today, about six weeks later. I opened up the package and enclosed was a letter. Here it is, with personal info edited (click me).

Seriously, what the hell? Why does he think I have size XL of this? Who just sends an item back like that, with no authorization? He used Priority Mail with SigCon, too, which cost him $7+. I’ve sold tens upon tens of thousands of items over the years and this has never happened. I’ve never even heard of it happening. This situation is so profoundly idiotic, I’m not even sure I’m doing it justice. Why does he keep asking for a Schweinsteiger Germany jersey IN EVERY EMAIL? I sold two or three USA Soccer jerseys in a month and now I’m his go-to guy for all soccer apparel? I don’t even know who Schweinsteiger is. Fuck.

I’ve dealt with three people from The Woodlands, TX over the last few years and all three have been functionally retarded in some way. What is going on in that part of Texas? Is the government secretly running tests there to create some sort of Super-Idiot-Manchild that cannot be stopped? If so, it is definitely working.

June 3, 2008

Stupid Email of the day

Dear (me),

Hi, although I don’t have paypal account, I will bid for this item. I will create my paypal account tomorrow morning so don’t worry if I win. Thanks 🙂

– a_sixt

I think the simple concept of “Paypal Required” is lost here. Tomorrow morning is a bit too late to create your account because the item ended a few hours ago. Oops.

February 13, 2008

Surely these people are joking

Sometimes I get questions that are so unbelievably stupid, I actually need to consider whether the potential buyer is just messing with me. Very rarely, they are. Sometimes I check to see if the buyer is foreign and is confused by my English in the item description. Hell, most international buyers speak better English than the high school dropout fecal matter I deal with on a daily basis.

Here are some Q’s and emails where I had to step back to consider if I was the target of a serious mindfuck. They’re in red, official replies by me are in blue, and commentary is in black.

This first one is about a youth basketball jersey I had up. Smallish skinny women will occasionally buy a youth jersey as a belly-revealing tank top, but this is not a proper look for the man who sent these emails:

hey i was jus wondering how long the jersey is i mean i’m 5’9 do you think it’s too small?

You’re 5’9 and you’re wondering if a youth large jersey is going to be too small for you?

Yea, do you think it is? I checked yesterday i’m like 5’10.

Unless you weigh like 80 pounds, it’s going to be skin-tight.

Good lord. Normally I just say “yes” whenever someone asks if they think they’ll fit in whatever size item I have listed, but this is just ridiculous. These jerseys are designed for middle schoolers, not 5’10 dudes. I also enjoyed how he measured himself just for this auction.

This next one is from a seemingly experienced Canadian user. He has a strong understanding of the internet and how ebay works, and by that I mean he’s a brain-dead troglodyte. How he managed to get 120+ feedback is beyond me.

Hi there. Are you on-line now? I want to ask you a question about 2 shirts you have for sale. Thanks.

What? Just ask the question. What does it matter if I’m not sitting at my computer with my gmail window open? I didn’t have any auctions ending for a few days, so it wasn’t like time was of any concern.

Here is a person who is confused with tricky, impossible-to-decipher sizes like “XL.”

Hi what is XL 48 mean? My nephew really wants one of these and is tall and thin. These kind of sizes are not what I am used to looking for so they make no sense. I only know what +2 is. I bid on it and will pay for it if I win even if it is the wrong size, I could always relist it…

She knows what +2 means, but not XL or 48? Jesus…

Here’s another person unable to understand simple concepts:

You have this is not a bootleg item was wondering what a bootleg item is. Thank you. -genasintegrity

Bootleg means fake or not officially licensed.

I can’t believe I was able to give a non-sarcastic answer and play as third-grade vocabulary teacher. Genasintegrity, you are pathetic.

One more. Please tell me this person is just messing with me. No one can be this stupid. I know I say that a lot, but I really mean it here. How can you possibly misinterpret the Best Offer system this way? This is from another SELLER, too.

At time of bidding, your ad read the price OR best offer, and at that time there weren’t any other bids. Maybe you shouldn’t waste time with false advertising. If there weren’t any other offers $10 WAS the best offer.If you don’t want to take the best offer, don’t advertise it that way.

I don’t think you understand the Best Offer system at all. Just because you make an offer on an item with no other offers doesn’t mean you win. It’s up to the seller’s discretion as to what offers are accepted. Typically, offers that reduce the bid price by 5-20% are considered. Anything else is laughed at.

You have no idea how hard it was to come up with a reply that wasn’t I HATE YOU over and over again.

January 15, 2008

On second thought, maybe I should quit accepting mailed payments…

I’ve had a lot of problems with mailed payments recently. Normally I prefer them, since there’s no Paypal fees and no real threat of chargeback. I see a lot of sellers worried about bounced checks, but that’s never happened to me, and I’ve accepted hundreds of personal checks over the years. Obviously money orders are okay, since the money is guaranteed.

I’ve already shown you the woman who underpaid via money order (even though she included the total 3-4 times) a few posts back. I emailed her, she apologized and said she’d send the rest of the money. She never did, but I sent the item anyway because $2 isn’t going to make anyone richer or poorer.

Now I’m getting more and more people who just send money with no information whatsoever. I clearly say in my item description, shipping details, and automatic invoice that if you do not include exactly what you won with your full name and shipping address, I can’t possibly be expected to ship. I refuse to mail a package in a situation where I’m not 100% confident that the name/address is accurate and that it will arrive.

If I just get $30 cash in the mail with only a scribbled return address, this does me no good. Same with blank money orders for a common amount. $24.99 + $8 shipping for a total of $32.99 is a very common payment amount and doesn’t help me find what item you won. If the total is $43.81, I might be able to find who you are because that’s an unusual amount that stands out. You know what I mean. If a buyer includes their name, I can search my email because their name shows up in the ebay “Your Item Sold!” email. This obviously doesn’t work when they pay with a business check when the account is registered to a single person and vice versa.

Like every other kind of ebay nonsense, the holidays are the worst time for this. People just mail checks and are apparently too busy to say who they are and what they won. So I deposit the payment, write down whatever information is given, email the buyer if possible, and simply wait for the buyer to get back in touch with me. I had a nice stack of four payments a few weeks ago with literally no contact/ebay info to work from, which is a personal best for “on-hold” payments at a time.

This reached a new level of absurdity last week when a buyer opened an “Item Not Received” ebay dispute. I asked them in the Dispute Console for their name, shipping address, how/if they paid, and so on to see if they matched one of my “on-hold” payments. After a quick email search, it turns out I emailed this user 4-5 times to verify basic information, because the handwriting was beyond sloppy, they wanted the item shipped to a friend’s address but didn’t make it clear exactly which address belonged to the friend, and they didn’t say what item it was. They never responded, and in the Dispute Console, they said they never received any emails from me.

Essentially, I had a personal check from a person with a dead email address who wasn’t the buyer, didn’t say what they won, and didn’t make it clear where I should mail this mystery item. Clearly this is my fault.

They flipped out in the Dispute Console and finally, everything was sorted out and all the necessary information was given to me. Apparently this was a birthday gift, which might be a bit late, since the auction ended November 17.

It’s times like this I wish everyone just paid with Paypal.

January 4, 2008

New Year, Same Ol’ Nutjobs

Here’s some fun emails I’ve received over the last few weeks. I know the holidays make some people a little crazy, but this is too much. Morons in red, emailed replies in blue, ass-kicking commentary in black, MAGIC BONUS TEXT in purple.

I made an offer on this item, you accepted. then you never followed thru. that is terrible Ebay practice. I was hoping to give that jersey to my son for christmas. Thanks for nothing. I am going to report to ebay about your practices.

I read that email and I thought to myself, “Holy shit, did I forget to mail something?” I actually do try to get items mailed ASAP during December and my way of record-keeping makes forgotten shipments a thing of the past. I looked up their username and found that they never actually bought anything from me.

What happened was they wanted an item that didn’t sell, they made an offer, I said sure, “pay and I’ll ship tomorrow,” and that was the last I heard from them. Clearly this is my fault. Also this email was sent on Dec 18, which is still a full week before Christmas Day. I sent them another invoice and again, nothing.

Uh oh, I better watch out because they are going to report me to ebay for not shipping an item they didn’t win or pay for. I’m on the bad seller train, first stop: Suspension Town.

Let’s not forget that the item in question was a dirty Drew Brees Chargers jersey, who hasn’t played for that team in quite some time. What a shitty gift. I did that kid a favor.



Hi it has been 20 days since I have paid you for this jersey, where is it and why is your shipping so fucking slow???

I am going to basically leave you a negative now because the shipping is so damn slow, thanks anyhow.

What is the matter with you? I mailed the jersey the day after you paid via International Priority Mail, which is the fastest way to Canada, aside from EMS, which would have cost you $40. It’s the holiday season and the mail can take anywhere from a week to a month. I do not work for Canada Post and I am not your mailman, so what do you want me to tell you?

You know, as much as I hate receiving shipping status emails, I hate snarky, passive-aggressive bullshit like this even more. You’re “basically” going to leave me a neg? Just how would that work?

I love the “your shipping is slow” line too. People have to know that once a seller drops off an item at the post office, it’s physically and figuratively out of their hands, right? Right…? Oh god they don’t.



Hey Mario,

Any progress on closing the auction so I can pay you?

Thank, Tom

Who the hell is Mario and why should I thank Tom?



i not griping but why no confirmation

This email isn’t taken out of context. They bought an item, paid, and the next day I see that in my inbox out of nowhere. What?



Email Subject: just tracking down my order
if and when you send it out i want to no so i can leave feed back

“If” I send it out? Wow, I didn’t know that was an acceptable option. This makes sense, though, because I suppose if you’re the kind of person that can’t spell “know” and “feedback,” you’re used to losing money left and right.



The Quebec Rafales were NOT the ancien Nordiques. Check your infos before posting those errors. The Rafales were in the IHL.
– crj50

Where do I say that the Rafales are the Nordiques? Learn how to read an item description.

Let me just check my “infos” to make sure. Direct from my item description:

“Up for auction today is one Quebec Rafales #15 hockey jersey, size adult large. 100% heavy polyester. This jersey is brand new and has never been worn. The Rafales only existed for two seasons (1996-98, both in the IHL), so their jerseys are impossible to find today in new condition, especially in adult sizes!”

Oh, and there are also two huge photos of the jersey. How dare I deceive these innocent customers who think they’re bidding on an “ancien” Nordiques jersey!

December 17, 2007

A late entry for the Dumbest Buyer ’07 Award

I just got home from my real job (sadly, ebay doesn’t pay all the bills) and I just went through my mail, which included some mailed payments. Great. I love these. No Paypal fees and no threat of a chargeback. It’s also pretty tough to screw up. Well, you’d think so at least.

Someone just underpaid by $1.99, while also including a two-page printout of the invoice and the item page, which had the correct total three times. How does this happen?

money order

I don’t even care about the two bucks. It’s too little an amount to make her mail another payment, but big enough where it’s clearly noticeable and annoying. I seriously want to know exactly how this happens. I’ve had people purchase the wrong money order amount, but they’ve always included the remainder with payment.

I emailed the woman and I guess we’ll see what she says.

December 15, 2007

I hate these people

So far, I’ve only really posted minor morons; the ones you can just laugh off. Their mistakes are relatively harmless in the grand scheme of things and they’re easy to poke fun at with a smile.

However, the users I’m featuring today are absolute scum. They are worthless and they piss me off. I hate them and I think they should be banned from ebay and the rest of the internet. They don’t read, they have a bad attitude, and they make life miserable for good sellers.

First there’s this asshole who has the reading comprehension skills of a retarded dolphin. He recently won a Willis McGahee youth jersey from me, but minutes before the auction ended, he emailed to say he wanted to cancel the bid. Well, why not just retract it? You’re allowed to. You don’t need to ask my permission. Of course I wasn’t there, so he ended up winning, then a few days later I see this:

I emailed you before this ended and was still wondering if we can more or less pretend this never happened. I don’t know how it would work, just pretend it was paid and you keep the item or there is a way to cancle the sale? Any response would be pretty helpful. The reason I no longer want to purchase this item is the fact that it is a Youth size and not an adult.

More or less pretend this never happened? Pretend it was paid? “Cancle” the sale? Keep the item? Any response would be helpful? Ok, here’s a response. Die in a ditch you illiterate fool. Is that pretty helpful enough?

You thought it was an adult? How is this possible? Let’s look at the title, item details and item description:

title item desc/details

Clearly this is an adult jersey. I mean, why bother reading the title, item details or item description when you can just look at all the perty picshurs and bid away, drooling like a mongoloid. Not surprisingly, this guy’s address was a frat at Pitt University. Have you ever met anyone of any value to society who lived in a frathouse?

Here’s someone who’s somehow stupider. Check out this amazing combination of dipshit logic and first-grade writing ability:

Yes Iwas trying to pay for the item that I won and my computer went out so instead I purchased your second item. What do I need to doin order to un due this transaction?

In English, I think this woman is trying to say, “I bought an item from you and I was about to pay with Paypal, but my library dial-up connection died, so I bought another, different item from you because I’m an imbicile who has no idea what she’s doing on the internet. I am bottom-feeding filth that embodies everything wrong with this country. Go Yankees!”

I mean, really. I understand that not everyone is going to be a computer expert, but this doesn’t even make sense. Whenever I need to know the point of view of the computer sub-novice, I ask my mom. I brought up the situation and even she thinks this moron is beyond dense. Way to set a new standard of stupidity. I didn’t think it was possible.

This last loser is a wonderful combination of stupid, naive, cheap, and opinionated. What a winner. In a nutshell, this guy bought an item and never paid during the course of 2+ weeks, so I filed a non-paying bidder dispute. He then emailed to ask what size the jersey he bought was. What the hell is that? Just look at the damn auction. Like my friend and fellow seller Dave says, if you don’t believe the auction, why would you believe the email? Stupid questions are insta-deleted.

I waited another week, sent him another Paypal invoice, but nothing. I closed the dispute and negged him. A week later, I start receiving stupid emails from him. Here they are, in order, him in red, me in blue. It’s pretty self-explanitory.

one thing i dont appreciate the feedback you left on my feedback area, i emailed you twice asking you what size the jersey was and you never responded not even once, oh but how quick you are to respond you not getting your money.

You asked AFTER you already won. At that point, it doesn’t matter what size the jersey is. You are bound to buy it, because you bid and won. If there was any confusion, you should have asked before you bid. Stop passing the buck. It’s pathetic.

no the point was and is i was still going to buy it no matter the size but u have you head so far up god knows where you dont see it that is why i refused to pay MORON. learn to communicate when your customers and maybe youd understand.

Bullshit. If you didn’t care about the size, you would have paid and been happy with the jersey in either size. Stop making up logically faulty excuses for why you didn’t pay. You sound like a child.

no im not making excuses the point is if you are a seller and the buyer no matter if the bid is over has a question. you should answer it, very simple, all you care about it the money who cares about the buyer as long as i get my money, but whats done is done, no sense arguing over this esp. with someone like you a seller who doesnt know how to sell properly and list the right sizes on his listings Mr “ive been doing this since 1998!” if you would have responded to my email you would have gotten your money very easily, it about the customer not the seller!! get it? good luck with the rest “business”

Thanks for the naive and hilariously incorrect opinions. I filed them under “Worthless” for future reference. Keep selling video games for 25% of their ebay value and have a nice life.

Oh, this is another one of those guys who is confused by stock photos and stock photo disclaimers, just like these jerks. That’s what he means when he says I don’t “know how to sell properly.” He sells around one item a month, very poorly, usually a video game system, always for far less than its actual value. What a tool. I’m sick of these worthless cretins. Until next time…

October 26, 2007

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