Ebay Morons Galore!

June 17, 2008

Stupid Email of the Day

Dear (me),

would this fit a woman? or is it pretty large?

– shuzkelly

Good thing women only come in one size or else this would be a really stupid question. The item in question was a men’s size small basketball jersey and I’ve never heard someone describe a size small as “pretty large.”

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June 11, 2008

Stupid Email of the Day

Hi,

Can I please cancel this order? Sorry, I wanted something else. Thanks.

Danny

I got this a full day after they won the auction and paid. By this point, I had already shipped and they received the notification email. Who the hell decides they want another item after they win AND pay? I never responded, the DC number shows the package was delivered, and so far, everything seems ok.

June 9, 2008

Stupid Email of the Day

Dear (me),

thanks for the feedback you never left me douche bag

– (idiot from Virginia)

This isn’t so much a stupid email as it is a funny one. I love how offended buyers get when sellers don’t immediately leave feedback. Who cares if all you use your account for is bidding?

Not to mention I don’t leave feedback for buyers in protest of ebay’s ridiculous new feedback rules. Feedback is dead to me, and I officially don’t care about it anymore. Even when I used to leave feedback, I’d do it in bunches (once a month or so), and I would still get messages like this.

June 3, 2008

Stupid Email of the day

Dear (me),

Hi, although I don’t have paypal account, I will bid for this item. I will create my paypal account tomorrow morning so don’t worry if I win. Thanks 🙂

– a_sixt

I think the simple concept of “Paypal Required” is lost here. Tomorrow morning is a bit too late to create your account because the item ended a few hours ago. Oops.

May 29, 2008

Stupid Email of the Day

This member has a question for you.

Dear (me),

Hi, i told you 15 days ago that i wasn’t going to pay the article because my son had bid for it without permission, and i wanted to leave you a positive feedback and i hope you do the same.

Thank you.

– (Idiot from Spain)

This was in response to me filing a Non-Paying Bidder dispute for this jersey. She immediately emailed after the auction ended saying she was refusing to pay because her son bid, not her.

Yes, I always leave positive feedbacks for deadbeats. I love losing money and time because people can’t control their kids. I negged her and I think it was the last one I left before the new feedback rules went into effect.

May 28, 2008

Stupid Email of the Day

Filed under: email of the day, jerseys, stupid emails — Tags: , , , , — J @ 12:53 pm

This member has a question for you.

Dear (me),

ok this might sound dumb but it might give u a laugh. but i really want this jersey but im a poor guy and if this doesnt sell are u gonna put it back up? and also might u give an after auction discount?? haha if not its kool ill hunt it down.

– kingofcali2003

Yep, this did give me a laugh and it’s only proper if I share the comedy with the rest of the world. This was for a $10 basketball jersey. Seriously, if a $10 jersey is too much for you, mayhaps you shouldn’t be playing on ebay. What the hell is an “after auction” discount? Should I implement a confusing and impossible-to-fulfill mail-in rebate offer on items sold?

Shout-outs to my homeboys on the PAL Gaming Network, too.

May 27, 2008

Stupid Email of the Day

Filed under: email of the day, stupid emails — Tags: , , , , — J @ 3:09 am

This member has a question for you.

Dear (me),

I would like to buy this from you

– oliver405north

Epilogue: They did not. Why would someone send such an email and not bid?

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