Ebay Morons Galore!

January 23, 2011

What the hell is wrong with the Canadian post office?

Seriously. I need to know. Almost everything I’ve sent there over the last few months has arrived either damaged, massively late, or most importantly, not at all. It’s moved beyond a coincidental fluke to something substantially wrong with the system.

About 15% of my ebay business goes overseas. Anyone who’s read my posts here knows I think it’s good for business to sell anywhere, anytime. However, I am seriously considering outright banning Canada for a while. I had a perfect holiday season everywhere else in the world (even Italy and Mexico!), but about 7-8 packages just never arrived to Canada, leading to constant refunds and several negative feedbacks, even though I did all I could to help the buyers. I’ve been shipping from three different post office locations, so it’s not like someone in “the back” is stealing my Canadian packages, which is a pretty paranoid way of thinking anyway.

This week alone, I received two negs from western Canada for non-receipt. I first asked for patience, that mail to Canada has been slow recently (especially during the holidays), and they act like I called their sisters a bunch of sloppy whores. God forbid you insult the infallible Canada Post! Both buyers actually refused refunds and apologies for the inconveniences because I said the fault lies with their countries’ mail delivery service. They’d rather neg and get nothing (if you think a refund offer is still on the table after a neg, you’re nuts).

An email: “Do NOT say it takes long because it’s international. I’ve sent and received stuff to/from US – it NEVER takes a month – it arrives within a week if not 2. Even items from Asia don’t take a month. It wasn’t even holiday season back when I purchased it.

Ignoring the fact he considers the second week of December to not be part of the holiday season, it’s a dumb email. Even the packages that do make it into the buyer’s hands take no less than 10-14 days. This is not just my experience; other sellers I know experience the same results. Three to four weeks is in no way unusual, but according to this buyer, it’s never happened in the history of Canada. Thanks anyway, guy with 60 feedback!

Later, his neg: “Item NEVER received. Blames on the postal service. Irresponsible. Do NOT trust.

Really now, what more can I possibly do once I drop the package off at the PO? Of course I’m blaming the Canadian post office. The address is written 100% legibly and the customs form is always on the front or top and is filled out correctly. If there’s no item 30-35 days after the mailing date, I’ll send a refund. Wow, that’s pretty irresponsible. (I realize I’m being snarky now, but my emails are actually professional to the buyers until the transaction has officially been ruined, so don’t think my ‘tude is causing the bad feedback)

So, I have three choices right now (aside from doing nothing and hoping it’s all a giant, expensive fluke):

1) Continue to ship to Canada, jack up shipping ~30%, and give a refund at the earliest possible moment to any Canadian who complains, even if it’s hours later. I will not speak ill of Canada Post because Canada Post is perfect and asking for patience will only make the buyer angry, and I won’t like him when he’s angry.

2) Continue to ship to Canada, jack up shipping to Priority/Express Mail costs. This is a HUGE price increase, since I mostly sell items that are under a pound, meaning the shipping price will likely more than double. Unless it fits in a Flat Rate envelope/box (less than half do, since I sell a lot of 5950 hats which go in a custom box), this’ll cost, bare minimum (no handling fees), $21. Not appealing when most items I sell go for about $10-20. I’ll have a tracking number, which is good, but Priority items to Canada have gone missing before.

3) Ban Canada outright from future sales. Will definitely hurt business, but will have a nice catharsis effect. Will probably lead to a giant flashing text box in all listings taunting Canada while thanking them for all the negs, which will probably hurt business more.

I’m leaning towards #1, but 2 or 3 might happen too. A colleague mentioned a variation of #2, in which anyone outside of the province of Ontario MUST pay for Priority shipping, since that’s where a majority of the non-receipt problems come from. Not a bad idea, but there’s no way to officially discriminate against Canadian provinces in your ebay listing, and packages still go missing to Ontario.

Comments, suggestions, similar horror stories to share?

Advertisements

June 21, 2009

Happy father’s day, asshole

I really need to stop checking my ebay email account when I should be working or doing something more productive. Had I not checked my email this past Friday around lunchtime, I wouldn’t have seen this doozy, included as a note with a Paypal payment for a stupid t-shirt.

Note to seller
Hi- I need this by tomorrow. It’s for Fathers Day. Please drop in mail today. Paying for next day shipping. Thanks, -Tara

I’ll let my response tell the story:

You know, that is an awfully presumptuous request. You have time to try to negotiate the price, but then you expect me to mail the item within a six-hour window, same day, during business hours when people work. I am on a break at my job right now, and I *should* be able to get home before the post office closes to mail your shirt, but honestly, I can’t make a 100% guarantee, depending if I have to stay late, traffic, etc. Like 90%+ of sellers, ebay is NOT my full-time job.

I have the ebay-minimum handling time of one day, meaning that the buyer pays one day, I ship the next. I accepted your offer before noon yesterday and it took you a little less than 24 hours to pay. It is funny it took you that long to pay, but you expect me to have the item out the door in one-third of that time. Had you paid before I left for work this morning (8am), there would be no problem.

If I am successful in mailing your item today, it will be before 5pm and you will get an email with tracking. If not, it will go out tomorrow morning as I have off. I hope you understand where I’m coming from with this email and the audacious request you’ve made.

Not to repeat myself, but I REALLY hate it when buyers assume stuff like this. I clearly state in all of my auctions that I’ll gladly overnight anything, but you have to let me know a little in advance so I can make it happen.

Strange as it may seem, ebay is not my life; it’s not even close to my main source of income. It’s essentially a money-making hobby. Yes, I check my ebay email fanatically, but that doesn’t mean I’m a walking warehouse. She says it so casually: just drop it in the mail today. If I have a long day at work or I’m out of town for the day, more often than not, I’m simply not going to be able to overnight stuff if you don’t let me know and pay mid-day.

The worst part is when they try haggling with Best Offers to save a few bucks, then pay late, then expect me to drop everything to get their item out within a scant few hours. Basically everything this woman did.

Luckily for this woman and her dad, I managed to get home and mail her item before the post office closed. It was 4:57pm. Another five minutes in traffic and they would have been out of luck.

I never got a response to my email, nor did I receive feedback of any kind. They got the item, so they have nothing to be unhappy about. Except that she paid $45 total for a $4 t-shirt.

January 4, 2008

New Year, Same Ol’ Nutjobs

Here’s some fun emails I’ve received over the last few weeks. I know the holidays make some people a little crazy, but this is too much. Morons in red, emailed replies in blue, ass-kicking commentary in black, MAGIC BONUS TEXT in purple.

I made an offer on this item, you accepted. then you never followed thru. that is terrible Ebay practice. I was hoping to give that jersey to my son for christmas. Thanks for nothing. I am going to report to ebay about your practices.

I read that email and I thought to myself, “Holy shit, did I forget to mail something?” I actually do try to get items mailed ASAP during December and my way of record-keeping makes forgotten shipments a thing of the past. I looked up their username and found that they never actually bought anything from me.

What happened was they wanted an item that didn’t sell, they made an offer, I said sure, “pay and I’ll ship tomorrow,” and that was the last I heard from them. Clearly this is my fault. Also this email was sent on Dec 18, which is still a full week before Christmas Day. I sent them another invoice and again, nothing.

Uh oh, I better watch out because they are going to report me to ebay for not shipping an item they didn’t win or pay for. I’m on the bad seller train, first stop: Suspension Town.

Let’s not forget that the item in question was a dirty Drew Brees Chargers jersey, who hasn’t played for that team in quite some time. What a shitty gift. I did that kid a favor.



Hi it has been 20 days since I have paid you for this jersey, where is it and why is your shipping so fucking slow???

I am going to basically leave you a negative now because the shipping is so damn slow, thanks anyhow.

What is the matter with you? I mailed the jersey the day after you paid via International Priority Mail, which is the fastest way to Canada, aside from EMS, which would have cost you $40. It’s the holiday season and the mail can take anywhere from a week to a month. I do not work for Canada Post and I am not your mailman, so what do you want me to tell you?

You know, as much as I hate receiving shipping status emails, I hate snarky, passive-aggressive bullshit like this even more. You’re “basically” going to leave me a neg? Just how would that work?

I love the “your shipping is slow” line too. People have to know that once a seller drops off an item at the post office, it’s physically and figuratively out of their hands, right? Right…? Oh god they don’t.



Hey Mario,

Any progress on closing the auction so I can pay you?

Thank, Tom

Who the hell is Mario and why should I thank Tom?



i not griping but why no confirmation

This email isn’t taken out of context. They bought an item, paid, and the next day I see that in my inbox out of nowhere. What?



Email Subject: just tracking down my order
if and when you send it out i want to no so i can leave feed back

“If” I send it out? Wow, I didn’t know that was an acceptable option. This makes sense, though, because I suppose if you’re the kind of person that can’t spell “know” and “feedback,” you’re used to losing money left and right.



The Quebec Rafales were NOT the ancien Nordiques. Check your infos before posting those errors. The Rafales were in the IHL.
– crj50

Where do I say that the Rafales are the Nordiques? Learn how to read an item description.

Let me just check my “infos” to make sure. Direct from my item description:

“Up for auction today is one Quebec Rafales #15 hockey jersey, size adult large. 100% heavy polyester. This jersey is brand new and has never been worn. The Rafales only existed for two seasons (1996-98, both in the IHL), so their jerseys are impossible to find today in new condition, especially in adult sizes!”

Oh, and there are also two huge photos of the jersey. How dare I deceive these innocent customers who think they’re bidding on an “ancien” Nordiques jersey!

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.