Ebay Morons Galore!

December 30, 2009

Repete777 Sucks

I was reviewing a seller’s feedback while browsing ebay recently when I noticed he received an awfully stupid neutral feedback. The feedback said “Seller does not leave feedback. Paid Paypal 30 days ago. Product as stated.” What the hell is that? Who cares that much about feedback that they leave a neutral over it? Apparently, this lunatic (repete777).

I checked the feedback repete777 leaves for all sellers and it turns out he does this for everyone who doesn’t leave him a positive feedback. Repete777 thinks the seller should leave feedback first, unprompted, every time, and if not, repete777 will ruin that seller’s feedback. That is, as the Pope once said, really fucking retarded.

Ebay’s official stance on leaving positive feedback is very simple. It is not compulsory for any user to leave the other party feedback of any kind. That is all. They encourage honest feedback, but it is up to the user in the end whether or not they wish to participate in the feedback process.

As of today, December 30, 2009, 12 of the last 22 feedback ratings repete777 has left for sellers has been neutral for the exact same reason. This is a higher ratio of bad feedback left than even sandrine-77 (I think if you have two or more sevens in your username, you’re a tool). How is this allowed to continue? Why isn’t repete777 suspended? Users are allowed 60 days to leave feedback, not 30. Repete777’s 30-day limit is an arbitrary figure made up by a crazy person. What if I left bad feedback for people who didn’t ship within 7 hours and 32 minutes? Would ebay let me get away with that?

Repete777 uses the same cut-and-paste neutral feedback for almost all sellers, but once in a while, he changes it up. When this happens, it just proves exactly how dumb he is, as words are misspelled and logical thinking is nowhere to be found.

He asks, “What more does a buyur need to do?” Well, you can start by spelling buyer correctly. He called one seller’s performance “Totally unexceptable” which is one of the greatest misspellings I’ve ever seen. Earlier in the year he said he “Paid Palpay on sale,” which is odd, since I’ve never heard of PalPay. He also repeatedly misspells basic words like “sellar” and “does’nt” on non-consecutive occasions, so you know that’s how he thinks those words are spelled. We all make spelling errors, but people who never spell anything properly are probably, as Ghandi once said, dumb as all fuck.

Irrelevant to everything, but still amusing, are his buying habits. He buys some of the worst garbage you can find on ebay. Just the other day he bought the Jack Frost DVD. Not the classic cartoon, the shitfest everyone hates starring Michael Keaton as a recently dead guy brought back to life as a snowman. This is totally unexceptable.

You’ll notice I typed repete777’s name a whole lot instead of pronouns here. That’s because if anyone searches google or whatever for repete777, I want them to see this page. If you’ve ever dealt with repete777 and want the world to hear more about how stupid he is, post here or drop me a line elsewhere. If I get good responses (or he gets suspended), I’ll post an update. If you’re just a seller, I’d add repete777 to your blocked bidder list. If you’re repete777 himself, eat a dick and stop leaving stupid feedback for good sellers.

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November 13, 2008

BEST WEEK EVER!!!! (part one)

And of course by “best” I mean “complete disaster.” Except that “complete disaster week ever” doesn’t make any sense, but you get my drift. This week, I achieved something I had never done before in the modern era of selling (post-VCD for me) — three negs and a neutral feedback, absolutely none of them my fault. And on top of that, the neutral feedback guy stole ~$450 worth of stuff/money from me. Awesome.

Actually, it wasn’t even a week. They all came in the same three-and-a-half day span. It was like I got six months’ worth of morons out of the way all at once.

Yeah, obviously I’ve gotten bad feedback before, plenty of them, but never this many in a row and never completely out of the blue like this. Here’s the breakdown:

Neutral feedback: Item never arrived but paypal got my money back…$30 shipping for that?

The item was an expensive hockey jersey and it was going to the Vancouver area. I shipped it two days after they paid via Priority Mail. Barely ten days after he paid for the item (seven business days), the buyer starts going nuts. Here’s the first exchange:

Hey,

I paid $30 for shipping so where is the jersey? I would expect it to arrive pretty damn fast at that rate!

It was mailed soon after you paid via International Priority Mail. Keep in mind that it can still take up to 2 weeks for items to arrive sent via that method.

At this point, he opens a Paypal dispute and immediately escalates it. I know I’m fucked, because there is no tracking number with Priority Mail, only EMI/Global Express, which I didn’t use because it would have cost $45-60 for such a heavy item. I can’t win the dispute; I need to have him close it himself. The package had to arrive within the next 10 days or he’s getting all of his money back, S&H included.

Keep in mind I live on the east coast (American side), so even with Priority shipping, it can still take a while. I make Priority mandatory for all expensive items to eliminate the chance of the item being lost and to keep the crybaby Canadians quiet. Until this point, I had never lost a package shipped via Priority, domestic or international.

I tried reasoning with him, telling him to be patient and that it would be there soon. I even scanned in the dated customs form, proving that I had mailed it when I said I did. It wasn’t a timely item. It wasn’t like he was going to a game or was meeting a player for autographs or something. He’s one of those guys who buys cheap jerseys to resell in their own store. Here’s another stupid email from him:

Listen,

USPS express priority (which costs about $20 for a jersey) takes about 3 days to get to Canada. I have a feeling you didn’t spend anywhere near $30 on shipping which is why it is taking so long. I’ll cancel the claim when and if it arrives, I’m not into defrauding people but I will damn well hold you accountable for that kind of shipping fee.

“Express priority” is not a real service USPS provides. There is EMI (Express Mail International) and Priority. Not both. You can only use one or the other. Also, it does NOT take three days for ANY package to get to Canada, aside from Global Express Guaranteed, which, according to the usps.gov postage calculator, would have cost $69.75. It even says on the website that International Priority can take 6-10 days, sometimes more depending on exactly where it’s going. This is a seller spewing all this nonsense, not some hick who gets one or two packages a year.

He makes a big deal out of the $30 shipping charge. First of all, the shipping price is listed in three places in my item description. I’ll never understand why people bid but don’t agree to the auction terms. Second, I clearly state that there is a handling fee on all transactions, especially international ones since the fees are so high. Again, don’t like it, don’t bid. I say it in bright red text. Third, I was pretty close with the shipping cost. The actual postage was twenty-some dollars, which I proved to him when I scanned in the customs form one email later.

Yes, he’s going to hold me accountable for doing everything I said I would do. That, or steal my money.

I don’t think I need to tell you that I ended up losing the chargeback. I really did hold back on the emails. I tried to be as nice and professional as humanly possible because I wanted him to close the dispute. I know this is a website about snarky responses to stupid retards, but there weren’t any at this point. After I read the email stating I lost the dispute, I checked my feedback to see there was a happy little neutral waiting for me. How nice.

At this point, I don’t give a shit, because the dispute is over and feedback was left. I seriously want him to know just how dumb he is and that his actions were not acceptable on any level, so I went into overly dramatic mode this time. Here goes:

I see you have decided to steal my money with help from Paypal. Right now, you have caused me to lose a $350 jersey AND $95 cash. You, (NAME), are a thief. There is no other way to put it. You deserve to be locked up and held accountable for your actions. How do you sleep at night and look people in the eye when you know you’ve stolen ~$450 worth of goods and money from an honest stranger?

People like you make me sick. I proved that I mailed the jersey promptly via the listed method and you still proceeded with the chargeback. A chargeback that was opened at an absurdly early time. Impatient, idiotic buyers like you, (NAME), are the reason that ebay is a cesspool. You are the reason that most US sellers don’t ship to Canada or overseas. You want the convenience and low prices of buying internationally, but you are unwilling to accept the minor risk that the item won’t arrive or will arrive late. Yes, it’s the seller’s fault that Canada Post is wildly unpredictable with customs and delivery time. Keep telling yourself that.

Please, for the good of your country, leave ebay forever and buy your crappy hockey jerseys and N64s in your own hometown. Sellers don’t want customers like you. We’d rather make a little less money and deal with someone civil.

On top of all that, you decided to leave me bad feedback. Please, tell me exactly what I, as a seller, did wrong. Unless you wanted me to fly 2000 miles and hand-deliver the item personally, what more would you like me to do? You even made note of the shipping price in the feedback. How dare you make a comment like that when that $30 was part of the $95 you stole from me.

Seriously, you are the worst buyer I’ve ever dealt with in 10 years of selling and this is a new record of financial loss. You are very lucky that you have the veil of the internet and its complete lack of standards and rules to hide behind. Kindly fuck off.

We went back and forth a few times, his responses containing more and more idiotic nonsense that I eventually stopped caring. He did say he’d let me know if it arrived, so maybe me ripping him knocked some sense into his brain, but I doubt it. I don’t care about the neutral, but a $95 chargeback that I couldn’t fight was a new personal record for me.

I received the next bad feedback one day after the neutral and it’s about as baffling as possible.

Negative feedback: BUYERS REVIEW SELLERS NEG FEEDBACK…

It was one of those WTF moments where I literally said aloud, “What the fuck.” The item was an NFL hooded sweatshirt and I didn’t immediately recognize the buyer’s username. I looked up the transaction and I found that I shipped the item within 24 hours of receiving payment and she received the item two days later.

I searched my email to see if any emails were sent and there was one seemingly innocuous exchange. You tell me if this is worthy of receiving a negative feedback:

What color was this supposed to be and do you plan on leaving feedback for the purchase I made on this? Thanks.

Not sure what you mean. It’s exactly as pictured, with a throwback-style faded brown color.

Well obviously from the pic I can’t make out the color.

That’s IT. Nothing else was said. She didn’t say there was a problem with anything. Yes, I forgot to answer her feedback question, but that didn’t come up in her last email. I really don’t know how she couldn’t tell what color the item was, because my photos are huge and numerous. It wasn’t even a stock photo either, it was of the exact item because I only had one. Clearly, this one was 100% my fault and I am a horrible monster for promptly shipping the exact item she bought.

I reported the negative feedback to ebay, and they didn’t even give me a response. Fuckers.

OK, that’s a big enough wall of text for one post. I’ll finish this up in the next day or so.

July 25, 2008

A package from Texas (Ebay Morons Hall of Fame Idiot #2)

When I checked my mail earlier today, I noticed there was one of those “We Missed You” notes from the post office, telling you they have a package for you that needs a signature. I found it strange, because I’m not expecting anything, let alone anything important enough to be signed for.

I walked over, picked the package up, and once I saw who it was from, I immediately started laughing. I didn’t even need to open it as I knew exactly what was inside. It was an ebay item back from May, whose return was not authorized by me. Let’s start at the beginning.

In late May, this guy bought an authentic Team USA Soccer jersey made by Nike from me. He paid and insisted I use Signature Confirmation. No big deal, kind of a strange request, but whatever. I shipped within 48 hours and after two days or so he started sending me crazy daily emails like this:

I sent you $40 by paypal per our agreement for the White nike
>> USA soccer jersey size Large. Today is May 28th, and as of yesterday, I have
>> STILL not seen it in my PO BOX. Have you sent it yet? Maybe you forgot. I
>> don’t know. If so, PLEASE send it by SIGNATURE CONFIRMATION priority mail.
>> This way we both know I got it. NOBODY but ME signs for mt stuff at my PO
>> BOX just so you know. Please update me on the situation and give mt the
>> tracking number on the signature confirmation. Also, can you get me a
>> Germany white #7 Schweinsteiger jersey in ome white size Large also?
>> Thanks, (HIS NAME)

and:

Hi,
STILL WAITING for my jersey, did you send it yet? Let me know, and give me the postal tracking number for the signature confirmation please so I can look at expected delivery date. Also, what can you sell me a white home Germany soccer with #7 Schweinsteiger name kit and the Euro 2008 patch on the shoulder in size LARGE? Please advise.

I had already shipped his jersey with the SigCon so I looked up the tracking number. Turns out he’s one of those idiots who complains about slow shipping, when the item is sitting at his post office, waiting to be picked up. I sent him:

I looked up the tracking number and saw this:

“Label/Receipt Number: 9121 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Status: Notice Left

We attempted to deliver your item at 11:01 AM on June 6, 2008 in SPRING, TX 77393 and a notice was left. It can be redelivered or picked up at the Post Office. If the item is unclaimed, it will be returned to the sender. Information, if available, is updated every evening. Please check again later.”

So it looks like you have your item after all. You just need to pick it up. Also, you were sent an automatic email from Paypal with full shipping/tracking information when I shipped, so I don’t know why you’re still asking for a number. Thanks.

I noticed he finally picked up the jersey two days later, so I figured all was well. Not so much. Almost two weeks later I got this:

Hi,
The jersey arrived and picked it up yesterday. Unfortunately, it looks like NIKE has “downsized” their jerseys a bit. Though it says same exact measurements as my Manchester United jersey (which fits me perfectly). However, the shoulders are too tight, the torso seems a bit small, and the sleeves are way too short. So I need that same jersey in Size Extra Large please (XL) instead. I put the USA jersey on top of my Man U. jersey, and saw it could practically “fit” into my MAn U. jersey. I know the XL in USA white will fit, so please set one aside for me and I’ll send it back to you, then you send me the right size. The jersey is really nice. Too bad Nike can’t keep their sizing correctly. Notr your fault. Oh well, that’s the way the ball bounces, huh? Have a great day, and please advise me that you HAVE set aside an Extra Large in this USA jersey for me. Thanks.
Cheers, (HIS NAME)

Note how he says he picked the jersey up “yesterday” when he actually did like 12 days previous. Did it take him two full weeks to send this email? Disregarding that, I don’t know what more I could have done for this guy. The item was accurately listed and I provided measurements. I didn’t even have any more size XLs at this point, so I just had a laugh at yet another worthless soccer fan and moved on.

Fast forward to today, about six weeks later. I opened up the package and enclosed was a letter. Here it is, with personal info edited (click me).

Seriously, what the hell? Why does he think I have size XL of this? Who just sends an item back like that, with no authorization? He used Priority Mail with SigCon, too, which cost him $7+. I’ve sold tens upon tens of thousands of items over the years and this has never happened. I’ve never even heard of it happening. This situation is so profoundly idiotic, I’m not even sure I’m doing it justice. Why does he keep asking for a Schweinsteiger Germany jersey IN EVERY EMAIL? I sold two or three USA Soccer jerseys in a month and now I’m his go-to guy for all soccer apparel? I don’t even know who Schweinsteiger is. Fuck.

I’ve dealt with three people from The Woodlands, TX over the last few years and all three have been functionally retarded in some way. What is going on in that part of Texas? Is the government secretly running tests there to create some sort of Super-Idiot-Manchild that cannot be stopped? If so, it is definitely working.

May 7, 2008

I know, I know, I am a terrible person but this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen (Ebay Morons Hall of Fame Idiot #1)

It’s about time I created a Hall of Fame for those special morons, the ones that make you laugh every time you read their emails, the ones that transcend all name-calling and must be seen to be believed. Halls of Fame must be opened with a bang, though, and I know just the guy to start.

Unfortunately, this is also the *only* ebay moron I’ve ever dealt with that I’ve felt even the smallest tinge of pity for when it was over. As you’ll see, I couldn’t even respond to his last two emails. I abused this guy strictly for laughs. He was my cheap Taiwanese comedy whore.

Oh shit, who cares, this is too funny not to share.

What’s funny is that this guy wasn’t even a customer of mine. He was just some loser with too much time on his hands. He sent me this message via the “Ask Seller a Question” form on a Buffalo Sabres jersey I was selling. He’s in red and my replies are in blue. Like always, everything is unaltered, exactly how I received it.

You state:
Cheapest price ANYWHERE on the internet and in stores!!

I saw this at AJ Wright for $49.99 just on Tuesday.

What’s AJ Wright?

uh it’s a store owned by TJ MAXX

Who’s this TJ Maxx fellow? I’ve never heard of him. Sounds like a fake name.

At this point, I’m clearly just messing with him. Of course I know what AJ Wright is. It’s a major national department store. There’s hundreds of them across the country. That’s like not knowing what Macy’s or Sears is. Would this guy catch on?

Yea ok act stupid or something you know what I am talking about and in fact I bought two and have the receipt to show you which I can scan.

Okay, he did catch on. I guess this guy isn’t *that* stupid. Wait a minute…

Could you? I simply don’t believe you.

Here you go and I have pics of the 2 jersey’s.

Stop playing stupid.

Attached file:

the receipt scan he sent me

Well, that’s basically unreadable. Seriously, using a scanner is NOT this difficult. The image border is mine. I had to do a simple photoshop edit to actually look at what he sent me. Here’s that:

'shopped receipt

Yup, so that’s a receipt all right. At this point, this is already pretty funny. He’s already willing to scan a receipt and upload it to a complete stranger on the internet. Could I make this guy do more? Yes, yes I could.

Come on. We both know that doesn’t prove anything. Where on the receipt does it say “Impossibly Cheap Buffalo Sabres Mitchell & Ness Jersey — $49.99”? You could have bought any two items from that store that cost $49.99, inlcuding a recently returned toaster oven and a large teddy bear wearing a top hat with a cane. It also doesn’t prove it’s yours. You could have easily found that on the street, flying in the breeze.

If you really want to prove your point, I’m going to need to see a photo of you, holding a jersey in each hand, with a sign saying “XXXXXXX@cs.com” in front. Simply having a pic of the jersey doesn’t cut it, either, because those could have been lifted from anyone’s ebay auction (even mine!). I just think you’re making the whole thing up.

Ok, there’s absolutely no way he’s going to do this. Who would go to such lengths to prove some stranger wrong on the internet? Remember, he’s not even a customer or potential customer. He even admits I’m playing stupid with him! I’ve had my laughs, but I just went a little too far. I’ll never hear from him again. Time to file this one in my Funny folder and move on.

But wait…

Oh shit.

Come on.

No fucking way.

Not ONE HOUR later, I receive an email from him, with an attachment!

I just think your being stupid because you know that your not the cheapest.

Your pic is attached.

I will await your apology.

PS after I have them rerung and use gift certificates I bought thru DEALPASS I will only be paying $42 a piece.

Attached file:

what more can i say?

Good lord man, have some dignity. After staring at the screen for about 10 minutes, I felt like Cartman on that one episode of South Park where he sees the funniest thing in the world (Kenny’s ass on the missing kids section of a milk carton) and now nothing else is funny. What else could possibly top this? This happened ~20 months ago and nothing has come close and no previous imbecile has come close.

This is the funniest ebay moron I’ll ever deal with.

Seriously, just think about this situation from his point of view. What did he tell the person who took the photo? “Oh, it’s nothing. This is to prove I bought these jerseys cheap. No, I am not insane, why do you ask?”

I was left speechless. What more could I say? This was perfect. Maybe I could have pushed it farther. “That’s still not proof it’s you. Make a movie of you putting the jersey on, while writing your email address on the crest in thick black Sharpie. Then, after you’re done editing the video, put it on YouTube so I can really be sure you bought those jerseys at that price. Otherwise you’re lying.”

After two days:

No Comment huh?

Nope, none.

By the way, if I happen to not update this for a while, it means this guy has somehow tracked me down and has crushed my body into a cube. It could happen. He’s clearly crazy. Just look at those eyes. Damn.

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